How to Calculate the Amount of Ice Cream You Deserve After a Break-Up

Break-ups....they happen to the best of us, but only because people don't realize they have the best when they have it.

The best part of any break-up is probably the ice cream. Rona's actually excited for break-ups because that means she can eat ice cream.

So, for times like these, we've created a formulate to calculate how much ice cream you deserve after a break-up. But first, lets back up and explain the relationship.

Rona never thought that she would get engaged over a text message, and at the hands of Julie. Like it was said in the "About Us," Julie orchestrates many of the adventures.

Julie, Rachel, and Rona were on Pinterest when they saw this pin that said, "When I'm bored, I text random numbers saying 'You should really clean up under your bed, it smells like something died down here. P.S. I love you."

Julie jumped at the idea. Julie and Rachel had the phone number of this guy Michael, but he didn't have Rona's number. And so, Julie grabbed Rona's phone and texted him just that.

To which the reply was, "Thank you darling, what would I ever do without you."

And by the third text, Rona and Michael were officially engaged. Michael still didn't know it was her though.

Eventually, he found out who it was, but the engagement went on. Rona and Michael decided to run away to Vegas, have 4 children in the next two years (named Bradley Kathleen Henrietta Oswald, Zazou, Angelina Purplespot, and Squirtle Trashcan, pronounced troo-shawn,) go on a paleolithic diet and hunt mammoths for their food, and put a giant, fossilized leaf in their living room. Did we mention that Michael was secretly a supermodel and Rona was hit by a bus?

But somehow the relationship ended as fast as it started. Suddenly, Michael had a girlfriend. And Rona found out through Julie.

It was an open engagement, Rona had been out with a lot of guys whilst "engaged" to Michael, but Michael getting a girlfriend was just what did them in.

But Rona was actually really happy because, on that night, she really wanted an excuse to eat lots of ice cream.

And so, we've come up with an equation to determine how much ice cream you deserve after you break up. The best part of breaking up.

How to Calculate How Much Ice Cream You Deserve When You’ve Gone Through a Break-Up

First take the number of the people in the relationship. Include all the girls he cheated on you with.

In Rona's case, 3. Rona, Michael, and his girlfriend.

Multiply by the number of weeks you were together.

In Rona's case, 4.

So 4x3=12.

Then rate the intensity of the relationship based on this scale.
1=he never knew you existed.
2=you were just friends...just not in your head
3=you went on a couple dates
4=you were his girlfriend
5=you engaged
infinity=married

Take that number and multiply your last number by it.

In Rona's case, the number is 5.

5x12=60.

Divide that number by 100.

60/100=.60

Multiply by your mass in kilograms. (To convert from pounds to kilograms, divide by 9.8. Round off to the third place.)

In Rona's case, 13.265.

13.265x.60=7.959

This final number is the amount (in pounds) of ice cream you are allowed to eat.

Rona is entitled to eat 7.959 pounds of ice cream.

You're Welcome Heartbroken-Ice-Cream-Loving People.